Sunday, 31 July 2011

Arthur and other stuff

You remember this post?

Well I decided to not doing it. I decided to give up halfway, to not do my very best, to give away the very interesting offer of studying anywhere without cost.

Well some parts of me still voice their protest about the decision. And I’m still not very sure whether I want to give it up so easily like that. But I told myself last month that I should make a decision by August, and yeah, it’s the 1st of August already. Whee.

I came to this decision after I watch Arthur and Eurovision.

For those who don’t know, Arthur is a movie about a rich spoiled (but nice) guy who doesn’t know what to do with life and squanders his money on petty things. He would buy expensive stuff at auction just to give it to somebody else. He would buy a new sports car every week. Etc.

One day his mother said that he should get married to a woman that she chose or she will disown him. At first, he disagreed, but later he agreed to his mother because he’s nothing without money. Then he fell in love with a poor girl and he thought to himself “Maybe I can live without the money.” He tried to find a job, but cos he has no skill, he always failed. Well yeah, so he has no choice but to follow what his mother wants.
(Arthur is a surprisingly very good movie. I heard this one is a remake, I shall watch the original to compare.)

When you watch this movie, you will see that Arthur is child-like, and I feel like I’m watching a loss of innocence, which is quite a heart-breaking experience, for me. I used one whole packet of tissue when I’m watching this (although I think it’s supposed to be a comedy).

So yeah. What I envy from Arthur is that he did what he likes. He did what made him happy, although later he realized that what he thought may make him happy actually doesn’t, and then he felt a hole in him.

After that I found Eurovision and honestly, some performances make me smile and give me joy. To quote from the church, “Joy is an interior peace that shouldn’t be confused with happiness”.

And thus I decided to live my life simply, to enjoy things that I do. I refrain from doing any activity that I don’t like. But you know, that doesn’t mean “I don’t like studying thus I will not study”. In fact, when you come to realization about this and receive the world with an open hand instead of resisting it, you will find peace. And even studying is a neutral activity. You will not find yourself hating it anymore.

I personally think that we should be like Arthur, embracing the peace in life by doing what we enjoy. But we also have to do what’s necessary. For me, what’s necessary right now is studying. Beware, don’t let this activity that’s “necessary” defines your life.

Yeah, so I decided that I don’t want to spend my whole day studying and shit. For me, what’s necessary now is :
- Do homework so that I won’t be scolded by teachers
- Read and do some practice on topics that I really have no idea what they’re about
- Do worksheets given by teachers and ask what I don’t understand.

That’s all. I won’t spend extra time to study. I would rather use it to have some fun and enjoy life.

Cheers. :)
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