Friday, 16 June 2017

Working life and others

I've started working.

How do I feel about it? Working is tiring. In university, I can slack. And I would get bad result for my exams. And that's okay. I don't particularly care about my exam results. My parents might be sad, that's too bad.

But when I'm working, what I do involves other people. The result of my action doesn't only concern me. It concerns the my colleagues, my boss, the whole company. It concerns my customers. I become more careful about my action and I work harder to achieve better result.

And it's tiring.

I want a relaxing life.


I have a deadline to do tomorrow. And I decided to write a blog post instead.

Funny. When I'm working, I feel like I can work in this company forever. I'd like to stay here for 10 years or more. The boss is nice, the work culture is good, I don't really have anything to complain about.

But when I get back home, I think of things that I want to do and maybe I don't want to do this forever. Life is short. I have other things that I want to do.

But I guess to do things that I want to do, I should earn some more money first.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Fantasy and reality

I always try to escape from reality. I engage myself in activities that will make me forget about the reality that I'm living in.

Those activities are, for example: sleeping and reading manga. I really love sleeping. When I'm sleeping, I get to imagine myself in a fantasy land where stories will unfold itself. It's the same thing with reading manga.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Manga idea

1. Rental Friend
It actually exist, a rental place where you can rent a female friend on an hourly basis. Of course, no lewd stuff.

2. Yuri idea
She draws hentai manga, and found out by her classmate at the comiket :D

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Long time no see

Haven't posted anything here for quite a long time.

Recently I was very busy catching up on school. There are also too many school projects / assignments / presentations that I can't handle. Or if I wasn't busy doing all of those, I will be sleeping.

Recently have been feeling empty inside. They say you should keep yourself busy to avoid negative thoughts coming to you. But I'm tired of being busy.

I thought eating will make me happy, but more often than not, it won't. Now I don't know what makes me happy anymore.

Haven't posted anything for quite some time and all I can say is emo stuff, huh? Hahaha.

Btw, my friend N just got an internship to Japan, and even the airfare and accommodation is provided. How nice, right? I always envy her because she always gets everything that I want. But I know I'm not supposed to have this kind of feeling, so my resolution for the next year (and forever) is to not have any envious feeling towards anyone.

And by the way, this Summer holiday there is a summer programme to Tamagawa University. It's a programme held by the Japanese Language department in the university. And the teacher in-charge for this year's programme is... M Sensei! If I applied for the programme, I will be staying in Japan for 20 days together with M Sensei!!

But it's summer holiday. Don't you think I should join the rat race and get an internship to make it easier for me to find jobs later? And I will also get some money from the internship. Considering my financial condition, it's best to get an internship during the holiday, right?

So I thought to myself, I will apply for some, but I won't be so kanchiong about it. If I get one, I'll take it. If I don't get one, I'll go to Japan for the summer programme.

Then I got called for an interview by Game Innovation Programme. That is not an internship, it's just a local summer programme about making games. But we will get paid, just like a normal internship.

They interviewed me on Monday, while the deadline for the summer programme in Japan is on Friday. And the teacher will tell us the result on Monday. So basically, if I want to join that GIP programme, I can't apply for the summer programme in Japan. Even if I don't apply for that, not necessarily I will be selected for the GIP programme. So the worst case scenario is that I won't be doing anything during the holiday. Fuck me, right?

But in the end I didn't apply for the summer programme in Japan. And in the end, a week after that, they called me saying that I was shortlisted for the GIP thing. Everything went as expected, but I still don't know whether I should be happy or sad.

If I'm richer, I would be going for the summer programme in Japan instead. It's a very rare opportunity. For me, the most important thing is not the programme. It's the people who are going for the programme. Most of them will be from Jap 4 or Jap 5, and many will be the people I know. After Jap 5, all of us will be scattered and we might not see each other again, but at least I want to be close to them and make memories for the last time. And it's also the last opportunity to make good memories with M Sensei.

Hahaha I guess life will never go the way we want it to.

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

I don't feel good

I'm really not feeling good. I just want to eat something nice. I feel bad, I feel emo, like everything doesn't work well. I went to get my A level certificate today and how it occurred to me how stupid I was in the past and I wish I can turn back the time having the knowledge and wisdom I have now. Everything is bad. I saw my Japanese textbook and I don't understand a single thing and I feel scared. It's bad. I might not be able to get good result in uni and I might not get a good job. I don't want to sleep. I want to eat something nice. I want money. Isn't it nice for those who don't need to care about money because their parents are already well off? I don't want responsibility because I always screw up. The lessons in uni are difficult and it's scary. And nothing excites me. Nothing. Not anything.

Nothing. Excites. Me

And what is worse than having no excitement in life? Having nothing to look forward to when you wake up? Sleeping while thinking that tomorrow is gonna be full of mundane things that you're going to have to do for the day after that, and the day after that. What is worse than that?


I should sleep. Staying awake just makes me thinking about these stuff.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Gold digger

She always presents herself as a gold digger.

In social media, she puts an image of a woman who wants to marry someone rich so that she doesn't need to work. To be honest, she's not ugly, but not drop dead gorgeous either.

In the end, none of the guys who are close to her wants to go out with her. Who wants to have a girlfriend who is a gold digger?

But I asked her out, and she agreed. To be honest, she never asked me for expensive stuff or anything.
Is she really a gold digger, I wonder?
Why does she make people think that she is one?

Friday, 8 November 2013

Studying Japanese (again)

The previous post was made last semester, while I was taking Japanese 3.
This semester I'm taking Japanese 4.
(btw, yep I got my A :))

So for Japanese 4, the grading criteria are:
Continuous Assessment : 70%
Final Examination : 30%

Components for CA:
1. Attendance
So far I have perfect attendance. (But so does (almost) everybody else)

2. Class Participation
This semester, either it's because the teacher thinks I'm doing well, or she's scared of me because I'm getting more aggressive to getting close to her, most of the time in class she didn't really ask me a lot of questions.

3. Dialogue Performance
This semester I think I did not as good as the others. There's always something wrong, like intonation of pronunciation, etc.

4. Quizzes
- 9 lecture quizzes   (31/36)
I think I lost some quizzes hmm.
- 12 vocab quizzes  (93/100)
wait but I lost 1quiz D: and the teacher never gives back the quiz we did during e-learning week, let's say I got 110/120
- 3 kanji quizzes (maybe 40/45)
haven't got one back yet,
- 5 listening quizzes  (24/30)
there's supposed to be 5 quizzes but I only have 3 with me??

Overall, I did worse on the (almost) daily quizzes.

5. Homework
I still don't know how they mark the homework. But usually I just made a little mistake here and there.

6. Mid-term test
40.5/50, at least above average (the average is 35.5)

7. Project work
- About yourself (okay, I guess)
- Individual "Invitation Letter" (sucks)
- Group "Invitation Letter" (SHE NEVER SAW MY GROUP'S LETTER)
- Individual essay (The life in Singapore University) (I think this is quite well)
- Group essay (same, I guess)
- Individual "Thank you letter" (I made a mistake on the format)
- Group "Thank you letter" (I think there's no time to do this. We never did it.)
- Kansoubun draft (okay only, I would even say sub-par)
- Kansoubun final (a bit better, but not that marvelous either)

8. Oral Interview

I have a mixed feeling about my result this sem. There are times that I thought to myself I might not be able to get an A for Japanese 4, but I think I didn't do that bad either. There might be a chance to get an A, let's just cross fingers on Oral test and Final exam.