Long time no see

Haven't posted anything here for quite a long time.

Recently I was very busy catching up on school. There are also too many school projects / assignments / presentations that I can't handle. Or if I wasn't busy doing all of those, I will be sleeping.

Recently have been feeling empty inside. They say you should keep yourself busy to avoid negative thoughts coming to you. But I'm tired of being busy.

I thought eating will make me happy, but more often than not, it won't. Now I don't know what makes me happy anymore.

Haven't posted anything for quite some time and all I can say is emo stuff, huh? Hahaha.

Btw, my friend N just got an internship to Japan, and even the airfare and accommodation is provided. How nice, right? I always envy her because she always gets everything that I want. But I know I'm not supposed to have this kind of feeling, so my resolution for the next year (and forever) is to not have any envious feeling towards anyone.

And by the way, this Summer holiday there is a summer programme to Tamagawa University. It's a programme held by the Japanese Language department in the university. And the teacher in-charge for this year's programme is... M Sensei! If I applied for the programme, I will be staying in Japan for 20 days together with M Sensei!!

But it's summer holiday. Don't you think I should join the rat race and get an internship to make it easier for me to find jobs later? And I will also get some money from the internship. Considering my financial condition, it's best to get an internship during the holiday, right?

So I thought to myself, I will apply for some, but I won't be so kanchiong about it. If I get one, I'll take it. If I don't get one, I'll go to Japan for the summer programme.

Then I got called for an interview by Game Innovation Programme. That is not an internship, it's just a local summer programme about making games. But we will get paid, just like a normal internship.

They interviewed me on Monday, while the deadline for the summer programme in Japan is on Friday. And the teacher will tell us the result on Monday. So basically, if I want to join that GIP programme, I can't apply for the summer programme in Japan. Even if I don't apply for that, not necessarily I will be selected for the GIP programme. So the worst case scenario is that I won't be doing anything during the holiday. Fuck me, right?

But in the end I didn't apply for the summer programme in Japan. And in the end, a week after that, they called me saying that I was shortlisted for the GIP thing. Everything went as expected, but I still don't know whether I should be happy or sad.

If I'm richer, I would be going for the summer programme in Japan instead. It's a very rare opportunity. For me, the most important thing is not the programme. It's the people who are going for the programme. Most of them will be from Jap 4 or Jap 5, and many will be the people I know. After Jap 5, all of us will be scattered and we might not see each other again, but at least I want to be close to them and make memories for the last time. And it's also the last opportunity to make good memories with M Sensei.

Hahaha I guess life will never go the way we want it to.